Friday, 16 October 2015

Dear Earthlings

I wrote this earlier this year when the discovery was announced of a planet that is very similar to Earth. I reckon if there is life out there, they won't want to know us!

Now the Kepler Space Telescope has found some 'megatructures' that some are saying could have been created by aliens. 

Dear Earthlings

We wanted to warn you,
although it is a bit late,
we don’t think we can save you,
we believe you’ve sealed your fate.

We’ve been watching for a while,
and discussing if we can assist,
but you really have fucked up
and though we think there isn’t much hope,

we made a little list:

We can see that you have wrecked your forests,
what a stupid thing to do;
the bees are dying everywhere,
the atmosphere is full of poo.

You have created false boundaries
to make battles and wars over borders,
because you think you can own your Earth
and its wonderful resources.

Your ice caps are melting,
your sea levels are on the rise,
it’s time to see the evidence
with your own beautiful eyes.

You could make a difference
if you really wanted to,
but you have to start right now
and there is so very much to do.

It’s only you and us, we think,
we haven’t found any others yet.
However, we prefer to keep our distance
or we may wish we’d never met.

Our planet is a bit bigger than yours,
and quite a lot older too,
there’s no way you can get to us
and we don’t want to come to you.

The only way for you
to save your wondrous planet
is to stop the profiteering,
stop the wars, and all the racketeering.

Live together, work for peace,
the answer’s in your hearts.
You know your battles have to cease,
use your clever poetic arts.

Please do not try to contact us,
no reply is wanted or required.
We hope you can repair your world,
even though your time is almost expired.

We will be watching and we wish you well.
Please don’t let yourselves end up in hell.

Yours cousins,
the Keplerites.
(on Kepler452b,
constellation Cygnus.)

The news story on the 'megatructure' is here:


  1. I'm sure no self respecting alien will want any contact at all with us in case we start our warmongering ways there too or start adding pollution to whatever problems they already have.
    Were definitely not the kind of neighbours you'd want to invite to tea and if we did live next door property prices would slump.

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